Running Up That Hill
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: After Leandra's death, Merrill cheers up Hawke with a trip to the countryside.


Rain pattered down onto the windows as Hawke awoke. Blinking sleepiness out of her eyes, she turned her head and smiled when she saw Merrill around her waist, already awake with those bright, wide eyes gleaming up at her in the morning rays of sunshine.

"Good morning." Hawke's voice was dry and unpractised, more a mumbling groan than her usual voice, and she raised her free arm to her eyes, rubbing weariness from them. "How're you?"

Merrill smiled that adorable wide grin from ear to ear, and hand laid over where Hawke's heart beat in her chest. "Amazing, just like every day I wake up next to you."

Hawke gave a quiet laugh under her breath, and plucked up her Dalish lover, holding her lover in her arms and kissed her on the lips. "You precious thing." She glanced out the window, noting the rain scattered across it's surface. "It's raining." She noted, knowing just how much Merrill loved the rain.

"I've been up for hours." She admitted. "Listening to the thunder off in the distance, the rain pattering on the roof," She smiled at Hawke. "Feeling your warmth against the cold."

Hawke smiled warmly. "Oh, you should have woken me up then. That sounds lovely." She didn't know why Merrill loved the rain so much, but it made her smile, to see the look of awe on her elf's face that still made Hawke smile, even after all this time.

Merrill smiled sadly, patting Hawke's side. She very nearly had, knowing how much she would love to be with Hawke, but then she had realized that her love needed sleep. Leandra had recently passed into the Creator's side, and she knew that Hawke, even though she put on a brave face to protect Kirkwall and was always ready with a sarcastic quip whenever the need arose, was still very much in pain.

Merrill leaned in until her forehead was against Hawke's kissing her love on the nose. Such a tender gesture that Hawke's heart ached a little, and then she sat up a little, straddling Hawke's chest and meeting her lover's eyes with her own, the dark blue sea of her eyes making Merrill swoon a little.

"Would you like to go out today?" She asked as she sat up, kicking her legs over the side of the bed. She smiled at Hawke's whine of disapproval, and ran a hand through her heart's hair. Hawke nodded distractedly, eyes dancing across the elf's chest. Merrill waved her hand in front of Hawke's eyes, who blinked and looked up at Merrill's eyes and blushed.

"Of course, dearest." She kicked her own legs over the bed and stood to get dressed. "So," She asked as she pulled on a pair of leather leggings. "Did you have anywhere in particular you wanted to go today?"

Merrill nodded as she plucked her corset up from off the ground and slipping her feet into it. "I was hoping we could go off to Sundermount today."

"Sundermount?" Hawke paused midway through buttoning up her pants, and looked up at Merrill. "Are you having more problems with the Mirror?" They had only just recently gone to see Marethari for that elven knife, whatever it was.

Merrill looked up quickly and shook her head repeatedly. "Oh no, no, no Hawke!" She shook her hands emphatically. "It's nothing like that! I just wanted to go to the mountains, see the wildflowers. They're blooming this time of year, you know, and there's so many different colours, and..." She trailed off, realizing that she was rambling.

Hawke smiled reassuringly, relieved to hear that there hadn't been any complications with her love's Blood Magic. "Alright then, pretty girl." Her voice was light and warm, making Merrill giggle at the compliment. "I'd be delighted." She walked over to Merrill, and gave her sweetheart a loving kiss, the Dalish girl wrapping her arms around her Hawke, and the noblewoman pulled back with a wild grin across her face. "If you intend on leaving this house today, I suggest we go now before we get too carried away."

Merrill giggled, and pulled on her shirt.

 **Later, At Sundermount**

Hawke laughed as Merrill led her by the hand, pulling her along as they walked through the knee deep foliage of Sundermount's plant life.

"Come on, Ma Vhenan!" She insisted, happiness and love in her voice. She was so sick of being stuck in Krikwall, where it felt like everything felt exactly the same, dull and lifeless. With so many people in one place, she got so lonely, even with Hawke, Isabela and Varric around. But here, hand-in-hand with her Merrill and skipping through the autumn's wildflowers, she needed nothing else.

Hawke stepped forward, swinging Merrill's hand with her own, with a laugh at her lover's girlish movement. Then, with the sun streaming over the Dalish girl's pale skin, making it sparkle like diamonds, it was too much. _She_ was too much, do Hawke slipped her free arm around Merrill's waist and brought her into a sweet, romantic kiss.

"Mmm, Ma Vhenan." She groaned, her eyes flutter back open after she was left dizzy by her lover's kiss. "If you keep distracting me, we'll never get home."

"So," She smiled, loosening her grip on her elf, locking their eyes. "Where are we going, exactly?" Not that she would have minded in the least, being out here forever with Merrill in the sunshine with blooming flowers all around them, but she figured Merrill had something in mind.

"Come on." She said, slipping out of Hawke's embrace, but very specifically keeping their hands entwined. "There's a place I used to go back when I was the Sabrae's first, and I would get lonely." A moment later her eyes widened and she turned to Hawke, shaking her free hand emphatically. "N-not that I'm lonely, never with you, Ma Vhenan." She stammered the words out, quickly trying to amend herself. "It's just a very peaceful place, with lots of flowers and trees, and little animals that sit by you..." She shook her head. "And I'm rambling, sorry."

Hawke smiled. "Lead on." Merrill took her by the hand, leading her up a steep hill that the noblewoman had to struggle to climb, each step bringing her feet up to her chest and pulling her entire weight up.

She must have stepped into a squirrel's hole or something, because very suddenly her foot twisted, she fell to the ground and began to fall down the hill. Merrill tightened her grip on Hawke's hand when she felt the human tumble and dug her feet into the ground, catching her lover.

"Ma Vhenan!" She cried, kneeling beside her Hawke and squeezing her love's hand that she still held in her own. "Are you alright?"

Hawke nodded, feeling her foot when Merrill released her hand. "Yeah... fine." She wiggled her toes a little, feeling it wasn't broken. "I think I twisted it though." Planting it back on the ground, she gasped in pain when she did, immediately taking it back. "Yeah," She winced. "I'm not walking on that any time soon."

Merrill smiled a little, and slipped an arm under Hawke's legs and another over her shoulders, hoisting her up and into her arms. "I'll carry you then, my heart." Her words were warm and loving, making Hawke's heart beat hard in her chest at the sheer honesty.

When they reached the top of the hill, Merrill set her down in a bed of daisies and Hawke gasped when she saw what Merrill had brought her up here for. The top of the hill was a breathtaking viewpoint, and she could see almost forever. Kirkwall was so small and unassuming from this far away, no one would believe how chaotic and bloody it's streets were. Off in the distance she could see the twin statues guarding the harbour, and the peaceful seas beyond that.

Merrill was right: This place was perfect. The face of the hill was covered in flowers that had a vibrant range of colours and trees that were taller than ten of Hawke's height. Birds flew overhead, calling their songs to one another, and small bunnies were sitting together and working on their tunnels.

"I come here whenever I'm sad, or hurt, or lonely." Merrill explained, sitting by her Hawke. "Whenever life as the first was too much, or whenever my... Blood Magic took too much out of me, I would walk down here and just think." Hawke laid her head in elf's lap, and Merrill ran her hands through her noble's hair. "I thought you could use this place in your life, right now."

"Thank you." Hawke whispered, giving a contented sigh. Merrill was so thoughtful, always. As much as she had shrugged off her feelings of the aftermath of her mother's death in favour of duty, knowing that her mom would come back to haunt her if she left Kirkwall to burn simply because she was grieving for her, she was still in emotional agony since Leandra had died. Even the funeral service hadn't done anything to dull the knife's edge of pain.

"Listen to me, Hawke." Merrill's voice was very serious, and her fingers were entangled in her hair very firmly, as though she were afraid Hawke might simply disappear. Just like everyone else the elf girl had ever loved. "I'm here for you. No matter what comes, I will always stand by your side, my heart."

"I love you." Hawke's voice was pained, but the cracks in it were filled with love for her Dalish lover. "I know it can't be easy to live with me like this, but I-"

Merrill placed a single finger over Hawke's lips, silencing her immediately. "Ma Vhenan." She murmured. "Do you know the moment when I fell in love with you?" Hawke shook her head. "It was when we went to get the Arulin'Holm from my clan." She blushed a little. "Well, I think I've always loved you, but when Pol died and I sat there, crying, you knelt by me and took my hand, and you gave it the gentlest squeeze." She brushed Hawke's forehead with a kiss. "You came to my side when I needed you most, and you still took my side against Marethari. You stood by my side, even when everything else told you not to."

"You needed me." Hawke said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, as thought it would be common sense to anyone. "And you were my friend: I trust you."

Merrill laid down by Hawke, and kissed her. "I love you so much, my heart, and I will always be here for you." She took Hawke's hand, and gaze it the gentlest squeeze. "No matter what."

Hawke leaned up and kissed Merrill. "I love you." She repeated, the words seeming to heal her soul every time it was uttered. "And thank you so much. I... this isn't easy, but you make it so much easier to bear."

They kissed once more, and Hawke flipped her onto her back, making Merrill giggle before resuming their kisses in the flowers. Whatever came, whatever pain, they would be there to support one another forever and ever.


End file.
